Tonight, I am sitting at the keyboard listening to Chris Botti while a few of my tears slide down my face. I can only hold so many of them back when I think about the reality of my life at this moment.
Last Thursday, my partner decided to end all medical treatments and enter into hospice care. His latest diagnosis revealed that he has Pancreatic and Lung Cancer.
Photo by Jagyasini Malakar on Unsplash
Deep down inside of my heart, I know that this is the choice that will provide him with total relief. His body is worn and tired. The Pancreatic Cancer mass is the size of a soft ball. At age 89 the time has come to let go of the flesh and become total spirit.
This is really the first time that I have cried about this situation. I was present when the results were given. Even though the Medical Assistant provided him with information about possible aggressive treatments, I knew when I looked at his face, the decision not to go that route had already been made.
There has been a flurry of activity in our home. Furniture needed to be moved to make room for a bed and other medical equipment. I have had to contact numerous friends to let them know that he had entered into hospice care.
My role as a caregiver is being supported by a medical team. The personnel has been kind and attentive to him, me, and family members.Our friends have showered us with love and support. They have stopped by to offer their help. I appreciate having the opportunity to step away for a moment. I need to stretch out and allow myself time to think.
For the moment he is doing well. I know that this is going to change as time goes by. I have to remember that over the course of his lifetime he has been actively teaching people Universal Spiritual Principles. Within those principles is a belief that when the body returns to the earth, the spirit will move on into the light of our God and live on.
I cannot deny him that movement. Even though it will leave me here without him. It is what he wants and what is best for him.
No timeline has been given for when his final transition will take place. I am not concerned about when the end will occur. What I am focused on is each day that we have together. Those moments when we can talk, laugh and enjoy each other's company. They will be a part of the memories that I have of our relationship and our time together.
Last Thursday, my partner decided to end all medical treatments and enter into hospice care. His latest diagnosis revealed that he has Pancreatic and Lung Cancer.
Photo by Jagyasini Malakar on Unsplash
Deep down inside of my heart, I know that this is the choice that will provide him with total relief. His body is worn and tired. The Pancreatic Cancer mass is the size of a soft ball. At age 89 the time has come to let go of the flesh and become total spirit.
This is really the first time that I have cried about this situation. I was present when the results were given. Even though the Medical Assistant provided him with information about possible aggressive treatments, I knew when I looked at his face, the decision not to go that route had already been made.
There has been a flurry of activity in our home. Furniture needed to be moved to make room for a bed and other medical equipment. I have had to contact numerous friends to let them know that he had entered into hospice care.
My role as a caregiver is being supported by a medical team. The personnel has been kind and attentive to him, me, and family members.Our friends have showered us with love and support. They have stopped by to offer their help. I appreciate having the opportunity to step away for a moment. I need to stretch out and allow myself time to think.
For the moment he is doing well. I know that this is going to change as time goes by. I have to remember that over the course of his lifetime he has been actively teaching people Universal Spiritual Principles. Within those principles is a belief that when the body returns to the earth, the spirit will move on into the light of our God and live on.
I cannot deny him that movement. Even though it will leave me here without him. It is what he wants and what is best for him.
No timeline has been given for when his final transition will take place. I am not concerned about when the end will occur. What I am focused on is each day that we have together. Those moments when we can talk, laugh and enjoy each other's company. They will be a part of the memories that I have of our relationship and our time together.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please share your views or tips so that readers can benefit from your perspective.