This is a new situation for me and I
am currently trying to navigate the emotional and physical terrain that comes
with having RA.
Rheumatoid Arthritis is an autoimmune
based disorder. It can affect children as well as adults. A fact that I did not
know until it became necessary to do research on what it is and how it affects
the body.
This form of arthritis is one of the
most painful because the joints become inflamed and swollen. I have had a light
sample of that and it is a level of discomfort that I have never felt before.
I have just begun to share this news
with friends. One of the common attitudes that I have encountered is the idea
that arthritis should be expected because I am aging.
RA is not due to aging. It is due to
the white cells acting in a manner that is not in harmony with how the human
body is supposed to function. The cells identify the joints and muscles as an alien
source within the body and attempt to do the work that they are designed to do.
They attack the joint linings, kill the cells, and cause a level of pain that
is surreal.
The
level of discomfort that I am currently experiencing has required me to make
some major adjustments in my life. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster.
This is not uncommon in the early stages of RA because I feel fatigued, in pain
and like everyone else on the planet, I have an agenda that requires me to do
different things.
Being social
is not high on my list of priorities. I have had to politely decline
invitations to do things because I am not in the mood to do any interacting
with people at this time. My current schedule includes physical therapy and
visits to my podiatrist and primary health provider. I am about to add on
visits to a rheumatologist to my calendar. In addition to exercise classes
because movement is required daily. Along with allowances for recovering from
feeling fatigued and somewhat overwhelmed by uncertainty.
There have been moments when I have
felt like going off on well-meaning friends who feel that I can just reach
inside of my “strong Black woman self” and carry on as if nothing is happening.
Let me be real clear about this. I do
not identify as a SBW.
I did at one time and the results did more harm to me
emotionally and physically than I could have ever imagined. After recognizing
that this was not healthy, dropping that shroud off of my womanhood was no
problem. I admit that I have to keep myself in check because it is always
present and willing to rise up to perform. However, I feel that a SBW is a
woman who does not include self-care and her well-being as a part of the tasks
that she must perform. Quite frankly, at this point in my life, I am #TeamLadyD
all the way!
This is certainly not what I expected
to have going on at this point in my life. I am currently enrolled in an online
business course. I work part time and I have an agenda that includes writing,
reading, and developing an at home business because I really do not see myself
returning to the traditional workforce again. This does not mean that I do not
need the income that is generated by working. I discovered that the ritual of
getting up daily to prepare to go to work, performing a job, and commuting back
home for forty hours is not what I feel like doing again.
I have to make some different plans as
I continue to age. At this point in time I have no true idea how RA is going to
affect my overall physical health. It can be managed. I am looking forward to
meeting with the specialist and developing a plan to manage the pain. I am
preparing to find out what resources within my community are available to
support me. I realize that even if I want to handle this disease all by myself,
it is not going to be possible.
I am hoping that within the next few
weeks to have information that connects me to the networks that I need. I am
also looking forward to a call to set up an appointment with a rheumatologist.
Until then, I have to move slowly and carefully each hour of the day.
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